Today was a long, long day, and it was pretty rough at times.
Today is the Friday before my finals begin. I have my first one tomorrow morning and I am trying to keep it cool but tonight I got so stressed and overwhelmed and discouraged that I started crying. And it is in times like these — times of stress and worry and busyness — when I really do appreciate Chris and all he does. He saw me start to cry and immediately hugged me as I was sitting in my chair, and he stayed in my room with me to make sure I stayed on track while studying. And I was able to get so much done because of this! Just having him near me and knowing I had him looking out for me have me so much comfort.
It is so funny that I cried, too, because Sabrina cried today as well. Just a couple nights ago, the two of us were reminiscing on freshman year and hoe stressed we were — boy, were we taking that year for granted, because the years following just became more and more academically challenging. But three years ago, we didn’t know any better, and every dead week and finals week Sabrina and I would have this saying: “it’s a good day if you didn’t cry!” We would get so stressed and overwhelmed that we would call our parents crying or cry to each other and we would take turns giving each other pep talks. Sometimes we would feel so stressed that we would take a break by going outside and lie on the sidewalk; we called it “photosynthesizing” because we would get up convinced we were refreshed and ready to study again.
And as we reflected on this, we were so proud of ourselves because we knew that we are seniors now and we can handle whatever finals week throws at us. We said that we know we are stressed but we also know how to get stuff done, and we can kill it this finals week, the first finals of our senior year.
Fast forward two days later and each of us cried today. HA!
Well these tears just go to show that I am still human, still freshman year Bailee inside sometimes, and even 21-year-old seniors in college sometimes cry from stress. And crying a little bit out of stress is okay, because it doesn’t change my motivation — in fact, afterward, I almost feel more motivated to get everything done.
Which is why after this post, I will go to bed, wake up at 7am, and continue to get stuff done before my first final tomorrow at noon.
Let’s do this.