On Magic & Love

On Magic & Love

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Our love works because I believe in magic, and you’re open to the idea of it. And that’s enough.

. . .

 

I have always believed in magic. As a child, I would say prayers to Santa Claus, wish to become a fairy, and dream almost every night of Peter Pan taking me away to Neverland. I would go to bed squeezing the tops of my ears in hopes that they would look elfish, and I sincerely thought that all of my lost things went to the same place.

So when I feel head over heels in love for the first time in my life, you could say it hit me pretty hard. The feeling of loving another person so much that you cannot think of anything that could happen to make that love go away…well, that could only be magic, right?

Magic and love have many things in common, but their biggest tie is this: neither can be explained. If you asked me to explain how much I love Chris, I would probably have to give you a list of things I could compare it to.

It’s like waking up on a Monday and realizing you have the day off from school. 

It’s like going to sleep on a Saturday night knowing you still have one more day of the weekend. 

It’s like walking on the beach in the winter, the chilly wind blowing in your face, cozy in your favorite sweater. 

It’s like not ordering dessert at a restaurant because you know you’re stopping by your favorite cafe after dinner (the one that gives out cake samples and has your favorite hot cocoa). 

I could go on and on, but like magic, love isn’t something you can hold, or even see. It’s a feeling.

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Now when I talk about things like this to Chris, he isn’t much for explanations that can’t be linked to science or reason. He’s more of the “your-brain-releases-chemicals-and-your-attraction-to-someone-else-is-biological-and-blah-blah-blah-hormones-science-brain-stuff” kind of guy. I could go for hours talking about magic, and he wouldn’t necessarily agree with me…but he won’t really disagree, either.

When I start to speak about it—when I tell him how our love works and how I believe he’s magical—he shares how he, too, believes that I was made just for him.

Chris may not believe in magic as much I do. But he’s open to the idea of it. And that’s why our love works.

 

 

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Love | 4.19.17

Love | 4.19.17

 

Blessed to have this love in my life. And grateful for every second of it.

 

Years ago I would think about who my other person would be and who I would end up marrying one day. I would lie in bed and wonder where in the world he was and when we would meet.

For Chris and I, everything was about timing. I’m happy ours worked out.

It’ll be three straight years of unceasing happiness on Tuesday, and we are already beaming with excitement!

Day 167

Day 167

I have been so caught up in the whirlwind of life lately: graduation is fast approaching, I am anxiously interviewing for jobs and biting my nails to hear back, my birthday is coming, people are moving away soon, and everything seems to be going a mile a minute.

So today I slowed down. I didn’t realize until minutes ago, but that’s what I did. I slept through my alarm, I took work slowly, I read slowly, I took a nap and took a sunset drive to In-n-Out with Chris and David. I lived life slowly and truly tasted it.

And you know what? It was a great day. Sure, I got turned down for an internship and I truly am putting all my energy into getting this one job that I think might be the best thing ever. And I didn’t take my schoolwork too seriously today—I didn’t buckle down or hustle. But that was the beauty of it all. In taking today slowly, I was able to taste every moment. Working this morning took a lot of thinking. Cooking my lunch was so enjoyable. Reading for my fairy tales class was so much fun and albeit relaxing. And driving to get a quick dinner with my boyfriend and roommate was a perfect moment.

I don’t know what life will be like in a year or two. But I do know that I am grateful for the life I lived today. And I want to make sure that even after I am in a full-time job in the real world, I want to always make time to take life a little slower.

Day 166

Day 166

I had such a wonderful afternoon in Santa Monica with my mom, brother, and grandpa today! I am so lucky to get to see him as often as I do. It is only a couple times a year, but I have grown to cherish the time I have with him and soak it all up.

We ate a delicious lunch of burgers and sandwiches and we spent some time in the sun, and then we drove home along PCH and it was sunny the whole time. I loved it! I am so grateful to live in California. I love exploring the world, but it sure is great to have days like today.

Day 165

Day 165

With the rush of finals and everything that has been going on with applying for jobs, I have felt so tired lately and, as previously mentioned a bit uninspired to keep up with these posts. But then I mentioned this to Chris and he said, “You should get back into it! You have so much to be grateful for lately!!” And you know? He is so right. So here is a little roundup of everything awesome that I am super grateful for.

  1. I have been interviewing for a couple jobs—finally!! All of this applying has been paying off and I am super happy about it. I really, really want this one job so I am dedicating so much energy into trying my hardest to get it. It feels like a perfect fit for me so here’s hoping and praying and working super hard to get it!!
  2. I FINISHED my entire thesis project! My senior honors English thesis that I worked so incredibly hard on for the past 6+ months is now complete and turned in. I could not be more thrilled about it. if any of you are working on a project like this and want to swap stories, let me know! It would be amazing to talk to someone else who has tackled an undergraduate thesis project—it was a beast.
  3. Winter quarter is OVER and I am back home with my family. I can’t believe I only have one quarter left of college…time is just flying by and it is so scary but so amazing at the same time. I know that I will totally enjoy this last quarter so I need to focus on the positive of it instead of dwelling on how terrified and sad I am to be leaving UCSB.
  4. And I got a remote internship !! I will be interning in the marketing field for a startup starting this upcoming week. I am so blessed to have this opportunity and I am so happy! It will allow me to gain more experience while also giving me a stipend that can go directly into my savings account…hooray!!!
  5. Because I am on spring break, I get to see Lindsay on Monday!! I am so grateful for her and I can’t wait to catch up.

There you have it! 5 things I am grateful for, and boy does it feel good to write about them.

 

xoxoxooxox

Day 164

Day 164

Totally feeling drained from finals and this whole quarter…so much that I was definitely not as productive as I should have been today. But I suppose I am grateful for the fact that I could afford a bit more of a rest day today. Tomorrow I have to hustle!!

 

I am feeling a bit uninspired by these gratitude posts lately 😦 I think it is because I am almost 6 months into writing them…gotta be more consistent and get back into writing more lengthy posts!

Day 163

Day 163

totally had a meltdown today but I am completely thankful for Chris for always having my back. And I am also thankful for Sabrina, who also had a rough time this evening and stressed out, but I was able to pass on the good vibes and give her a pep talk, too. what goes around definitely comes around.

if you see someone who is stressed, too, definitely try to help them out. sometimes it is way easier to help someone else if you know what you would want someone to say to you.

Day 162

Day 162

Keep calm, allow yourself to destress when you need to, feel the laughter escape you and take everything in. Stress and finals suck, but when an evening comes along to make it such less, roll with it.

 

I definitely need to review more before my final tomorrow morning, and that is okay, but for now I will sleep. Woo!

Day 161

Day 161

I wanted to write a bit about seizing opportunities. When I got to college, I decided I wanted to be social, make friends, join clubs, and take advantage of any opportunity that came my way. I picked up odd jobs and threw myself into different hobbies or groups in order to figure out what I liked and build my resume. I knew that I wanted to get as much experience as I could while I was here.

Fast forward to senior year, and I still have that same mentality. I start a new internship in a little over a week, I am interviewing for post-grad jobs while finishing winter quarter, I am saving up my money so I can take myself on an amazing Disney World vacation with my boyfriend, and I am working a few hours a week as a writer in order to get the most that my minor has to offer. I am trying my best and hardest in order to kick butt so that I can be happy and succeed, both now and in the future.

There is a lot of value to saying no. I say no to going out on the weekends when I know I want to be home, to overcommitting myself to the newspaper I worked for last year, to working more than a few days a week, and (next quarter) to Friday classes. Saying no is completely and totally okay.  But it is also so amazing to say yes as often as you want to, because it means taking a chance on something that may or may not work out. I have learned (and I am still learning) to trust the process, enjoy the ride, and seize it all.